Wow, I don’t know what to say

I would like to send a mention to my good friend Jenna S. After reading her blog I felt inspired to start one of my own (even though this is only my second entry this year, I am practically not worthy of even calling myself a blogger!) However, memories of my good friend resurfaced yesterday when I swear I met one of her priceless characters who appeared in one of her paris blogs last year. Jen… U were not wrong!

It all started as a pretty crappy day. The weather in the current European country I reside in is depressing, its cold, I was up all night working, didn’t sleep and just found out that I was doing a fashion show in my new market (that I just started in this week) that went from 330 pm till 10 pm.

I drag myself to work at 330, end up being lectured by the security guard in French for like 10 minutes (I still don’t know what I did to deserve it but he seemed pissed so I guess I must have done something wrong). Then I end up walking in circles for about 15 minutes because I am still not a pro at translating French to English, but eventually I end up at work.
Now I am already not in the best mood because it was dark and I hadn’t eaten all day (the client also didn’t feed us just to add insult to injury) but then, what usually would make me quite livid, was all made so much more interesting by the clueless people screwing up around me.

All of a sudden, I became like a fly on the wall, observing in awe the scene unfolding before me. Bossy models, clueless models, clueless people in general.

My first endeavor happens when I go and sit in the makeup chair. I knew I was going to be at work for hours so I was pretty chilled and not really caring how long it took. The young lady beside me however was in a whole other mind set.

The girl starts whinging to the makeup artist
‘Oooo am I done yet?’
‘NO, I have only made up one of your eyes.’
‘Ooo but I don’t think you really need to do much more!’
‘Yes, one of your eyes is silver, the other one is bare.. Perhaps the other needs to be silver as well.’
‘Ooo but it won’t even make a difference, everything you do, I will just look exactly the same.’
(No one made any reaction to the last comment she made.)
She presently starts talking very animatedly on her mobile headset, moving her head in all directions as the poor makeup artist is trying to put sticky silver shadow around her eyes. Later she ends up getting in a one sided argument over when she will do her mascara, lipstick and when the makeup artist would get off his ass and fetch her some water.

My next endeavor started because the designer was very concerned that I hadn’t eaten all day and told me he would go and buy me a muffin at star bucks… The same girl from the makeup chair then comes up to me
“o what is this? You are not dieting?’
Me: ‘ No, do I look fat to you?’
Her: ‘No but I have to starve myself and I am still not skinny. Here you are eating a muffin.’
Me: ‘Yes. That is correct. (I point at my muffin and say very slowly for her) a m u f f I n.’

I go and sit in the corner to eat my muffin in peace (or half of it before the client in charge confiscated it and made me reherse) when all of a sudden I hear this loud, shill voice in my ear.
‘O I hear you are from Australia as well!’ the girl screams
I just kind of look at her.
‘Wow do you like Europe? I really like Europe. The Australia agencies are shit. They know nothing. They think I am not good enough. I tell you, If it were the 1980s I would be famous. They liked shorter girls in the 1980s. The would have loved me!
Me: ‘ Oh okay but there were also other famous girls in the 1980s that would have probably still been famous instead of you.’
Her: ‘You tall girls don’t know what it is to fight. You get everything handed to you because you are tall. Any agency would take any girl who is 5’11’
Me: ‘Not true. Some girls are not what the agencies are looking for. Just because they are tall does not mean they are going to work.’
Her: ‘O you don’t know anything Brittany. Tall girls can get agencies everywhere. If I were as tall as you I would be in a better agency to. I would have been famous in the 1980s.

Now here is when I start to have an epiphany back to Jenna’s blog last year. She mentioned that she met an Aus girl at a casting who ended up lecturing her on the fact that vaccines give children autism and she would rather have her children have the chance of dying of tetnus, hepatitis, measles etc. instead of having there brains turn to mush in there heads and become autistic.
I had to know if this was the same girl. Couldn’t help it!
She starts coughing
Me: ‘O are you sick?”
Her: ‘Yes, maybe I am just a little sick because of (….. Cant remember)
Me: ‘Haha maybe you need some sort of v a c c I n a t I o n so you don’t get sick so often’
Her: ‘I DON’T BELIEVE IN VACCINATIONS. I can’t believe you agree with that. How would you like your brains to turn to mush and become a vegetable in hospital, not even be able to feed yourself and become autistic.
Me: ‘I didn’t realise that all autistic people were complete, hospitalised vegetables.’
Her: ‘Vaccinations make people turn into vegetables. There is no way around it. My children will never be vaccinated.
Me: ‘I was vaccinated for some diseases and I am not a vegetable.’
Her: Well you should be ! (and angrily walks off and sits in the opposite corner).

Wow. I don’t even know what happened last night.
This was the highlight conversation.. It was maybe a little better than the girls who couldn’t count to ten during rehearsal. But even though I ended up working until midnight and only got fed half a muffin, maybe these scenarios were worth staying up for.